Friday, 23 August 2013

Outsourcing - Best Idea Since The Chocolate Teapot

The IT I use at work has been getting steadily slower and more unreliable recently. Coincidentally, many of our IT functions have been privatised and put out to tender. The tendering process basically involves inviting bids from private companies to perform a function that used to be done in house, taking the cheapest bid then sitting round wondering why said function has gone to shit! I’d imagine that businesses have a pretty good idea of what their services are worth, any business that consistently under or overestimates the worth of its services isn’t going to last too long. Overestimate and no one will use you, underestimate and you’ll get plenty of takers but no profit. So it should be obvious to even a retard that if one business is offering to perform a service significantly cheaper than another, it’s because they will do it less well! Imagine a workplace closing it’s in-house canteen and putting the catering contract out to tender, bids are received from Gordon Ramsay, Nandos and some dodgy back street kebab shop. Obviously the kebab shop’s bid will be cheapest because they’ll be rounding up stray dogs and dead pigeons rather than buying in good meat, they get the contract and the workers get salmonella! That’s basically how it works, and its pissing me off!

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Meat is Redrum

I’m really sick of all the middle class hand-wringing I’ve been seeing on social media (mainly Twitter) lately over the horse-meat scandal. “Oh I’m so lucky I don’t have to eat cheap ready meals”, “how mean to mock the poor people who’ve been duped into eating horse-meat”, blah blah fucking blah. Oh fuck off!!
If you’re too dumb to realise that eating processed food is the most expensive way to eat, aside from getting takeaways, then you deserve everything you get. When I first left home and I was broke I lived off veggie stews mainly, various pulses, veggies, mushrooms and spices cooked up in a wok with rice. tasty, nutritious and cheap(er) as chips, which was my main priority at the time as I wanted to keep as much of my wages as possible for the important things like dope, cider and vinyl! I had never learned to cook, no one taught me, I just followed instructions on packets and muddled through. The fact is, so many people live off ready meals (and even worse, feed their kids on them) because they are too lazy to cook, it would involve getting off their arses and turning off the TV for an hour or so – hell no, might miss some important celebrity gossip or one of their mates’ appearance on Jeremy Kyle! It’s just a slight step up from the people who send their kids out for chicken & chips every night because even shoving a lump of shite into the microwave is too much effort for them. The bottom line is, if you are buying stuff like 4 burgers for 99p then you should be worrying about how much fecal matter and pus is in them, not what animal they came from! The only thing more sickening to me than the thought of what shite goes into those value burgers, are the platitudes from guilt-ridden middle class liberal types towards the ignorant fucks that buy them!